First Trimester Miscarriage at 8 Weeks | Our Pregnancy Loss Story
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Having a first trimester miscarriage at 8 weeks gestation can be very scary. I hope that by sharing our pregnancy loss story that it helps bring comfort and encouragement to at least one woman out there who might be struggling to feel understood right now.
30 years ago, information on miscarriage and pregnancy loss was a lot less readily available. Because of the lack of community and outspokenness, women were left to manage their feelings on their own. Thank goodness we now have the internet where blogs and social media have made it incredibly easy to share information and connect struggling women around the world.
As we talk about pregnancy loss today, please know that there will be some sensitive things that are shared that may be triggering to some. Maybe now isn’t the right time to read through this story. But if you do, I hope you find encouragement from it, and know that you are not alone.
This is our first trimester miscarriage story.
Trying to Conceive
At the beginning of 2021, Jon and I began trying to start a family. Anxiety, fear, and excitement were constant emotions that ran through my head. At this point, we had been married for 9 years. Why did we wait so long? Well, that might be a story for another time. But for now, we’ll just say that the Lord hadn’t yet laid the desire on our hearts until this point.
To give you a better sense of the kind of person I am, I’ll tell you that I am a perfectionist, through and through. I’m not going to lie. I was convinced that I was going to get pregnant month one. I bought ovulation strips, and used a special thermometer to track my basal body temperature (BBT). If you’re new to the trying to conceive (TTC) world, basal body temperature is your body’s temperature at rest during the night. This temperature fluctuates throughout the month in relation to your hormones changing with your cycle, and can help offer a clearer picture of a women’s cycle and ovulation.
However, within the first couple of months, I quickly realized that something wasn’t quite right. My ovulation strips indicated weak ovulation. At this point in time, my menstrual cycles were sporadic; often occurring just 2 weeks apart from each other. Never in my life had I experienced such irregularity. To say that I was discouraged would be a complete understatement.
I decided to start supporting my hormones with a blend of essential oils. And after one full cycle of using this blend twice a day, my menstrual cycle had regulated. Praise the Lord! There is nothing worse than having irregular cycles when you’re trying to conceive. This essential oil blend helps support your body’s natural production of female hormones, which is important for conception and pregnancy.
When That Pregnancy Stick Reads Positive
Around Day 25 of my typical 28-30 day cycle, I began to experience bleeding. It wasn’t a lot, but it lasts about 3 days and was accompanied by very light cramping. My experience with periods has always been a painful one ever since my teenage years. Extremely painful cramps often kept me from going to school or even being able to walk to the bathroom. So to be experiencing spotting and bleeding with little to no cramping was unusual for me.
The spotting subsided, and I didn’t really think much of it. I honestly just figured that my menstrual cycle was still acting strange. It was Day 30 of my cycle, and still no sign of my actual period flow. A little spark of hope crossed my mind, so I went to the bathroom and did what every TTC lady out there has done a million times. I peed in a cup, dipped that stick, and waited those dreadful three minutes.
I don’t think I was quite prepared for what happened next. For the first time in three months, that pregnancy stick showed two pink lines instead of just one. It turns out, that the bleeding I had experienced a few days prior was likely to be implantation bleeding.
My hands started shaking. I hate to admit, but I texted my best friend first thing before even telling Jon. She and her husband had been trying to conceive for two years, and had just successfully conceived through IVF. As soon as she told me she was pregnant, I immediately began praying to conceive quickly so that she and I could go through our first pregnancies together. There’s nothing better than going through life with your bestie, right?
Telling My Husband I’m Pregnant
Jon was well aware that I had experienced some bleeding, so pregnancy was definitely not on the forefront of his mind. I just so happened to find out that I was pregnant just a few days after Father’s Day that year. June 26, 2021 will always be a date that sticks in my mind. We had an evening routine of going on a walk together, so I knew I wanted to use that time to share the big news with him.
I was not patient at all. It was all I could do to keep myself from just blurting it out. We started on our walk, and I pulled out my phone acting like I was texting someone, but really I was starting a video. This moment was something I never wanted to forget. With the video rolling, I said to Jon, “There’s one thing I forgot to tell ya.” He replies, “What?” As I pulled the pregnancy test out of my pocket and handed it to him, I say, “Happy Father’s Day.” Cue the tears!
His disbelief easily matched my own first reaction. We hugged, we cried (well, I cried). It was perfect.
When Pregnancy Symptoms Never Started
Every woman knows many of the first trimester pregnancy symptoms that a person can experience. From bloating and exhaustion, to nausea and extremely sore and sensitive boobs, there are a wide range of things that most women tend to experience in their first trimester. It was a week after getting a positive pregnancy test, and I still had zero signs or symptoms of being pregnant.
My mind began to go to all the wrong places. Fears and doubts flooded my thoughts on a daily basis. However, every friend, medical professional and midwife that I consulted reassured me that everyone, and every pregnancy, is different. And because my bloodwork came back fine during my initial appointment, I was told to not worry about it. I was told, “In all likelihood, everything is fine.”
Approximately 6 weeks into my first trimester (two weeks after the positive pregnancy test), I began to have spotting. For about a week prior to that, I had been having random spells of intense cramping that felt a lot like period cramps. The cramping wouldn’t last long, but it was definitely painful. Again, all advice I was given told me not to worry. I was nearing 8 weeks into the pregnancy, and still no signs or symptoms that would point toward pregnancy. Not a hint of nausea, no exhaustion, zero soreness, no sensitivity to smells…nothing. Again, according to advice, the lack of symptoms could actually be normal for some pregnancies.
First Trimester Ultrasound at 8 Weeks
Eight weeks into my first trimester, we headed to my first ultrasound to determine exact gestation and due date for our first little baby. If anyone reading this is unfamiliar, you have to drink water and have a full bladder for that first ultrasound in order for them to get a clear picture. I drank the water, but by the time we were sitting in the waiting room, I began having the most horrible pain and cramping. I initially thought it was just pain from having a full bladder.
The pain was unbearable, so much so that I asked if I could go to the bathroom to relieve some of the pressure. I was told not to empty my bladder too much, so I did as I was told. I relieved some of the pressure just enough to be able to go back to the waiting room and wait for a while longer. After three bathroom visits, I was no closer to finding relief. Each time, the pain returned after only a few minutes of relief.
Finally, I was called back to a room and laid down on the table. The pain and cramping was so intense and uncomfortable. I begged the ultrasound tech to allow me to just go to the bathroom. Sadly, she seemed slightly annoyed. I’m guessing, to her, I was just a wimp who couldn’t handle a full bladder. At the time, there just wasn’t any way to get anyone to understand exactly how I was feeling. I felt so embarrassed. She agreed to let me go to the bathroom and said we would just do an internal exam, instead.
The rest of the appointment went well. We got to see our 8-week old baby’s heartbeat. The ultrasound tech reassured us that everything looked healthy. The baby was measuring properly for a first trimester baby, and their heart rate was strong in the 160’s. We left the appointment feeling hopeful, but something inside of me was telling me that something wasn’t right.
First Trimester Miscarriage
My heart was heavy the rest of the day. Call it a woman’s intuition if you will, but something was telling me that this pregnancy was heading toward miscarriage. Even though I had completely emptied my bladder hours ago, a very dull cramping continued throughout the rest of the day.
Around 9pm that evening, I noticed a major shift in my symptoms and body. The cramping had become much worse and my belly bloated to an extreme. Just about the time that Jon was going to bed around 10pm, I made him aware of my pain and discomfort and told him that I didn’t think it was a good thing. I told him to go to bed, because I knew there would be little he could do for me at this point. When I’m in pain, I’m the type of person who just needs space and wants to be left alone, anyway.
The next 9 hours were the worst hours of my life. Excruciating pain took my view on what pain is to a whole other level. I knew that I was having a miscarriage. But the very small chance that I was wrong kept me from taking any kind of pain medication to help me through it. It was the longest night of my life. I remember crying out in prayer as my whole body shook in unbelievable pain. Frequent trips to the bathroom were accompanied by period-like bleeding.
Miscarriage at 8 Weeks
Finally, around 5am the next morning, I found myself in the bathroom experiencing the most pain than I had experienced all night long. I was at my breaking point; convinced that I was going to pass out. I was sweating, and my body was shaking uncontrollably. In that moment, I silently cried out through my tears (out of fear of waking Jon up) and prayed, “Lord, make this stop! Take this pain from me!” I repeated that prayer over and over as I rocked back and forth, trying to distract myself. Just moments later, my pain completely subsided and my body relaxed for the first time in 9 hours.
After finding some relief, I went to bed and slept for about two hours. Upon waking, I simply went to the bathroom to empty my bladder. As I relaxed on the toilet, I felt something rather large slip out of me…and I knew. I knew that was our baby, and I had officially miscarried our first little miracle. I wept and recomposed myself before finding Jon to tell him the news.
As you can imagine, there were so many questions left unanswered. Jon was in complete disbelief. Who wouldn’t be? We had literally just seem our baby the day before and were told that everything looked healthy. It was a devastating time of uncertainty for the both of us.
Miscarriage Can Look Differently For Everyone
A first trimester miscarriage can happen in a multitude of ways. Miscarriages aren’t “one size fits all.” Every person and every pregnancy can experience a first trimester miscarriage differently. For me, a first trimester miscarriage ended in extreme pain. But through it all, my God was with me. Never once did I feel alone or weak. Christ’s power washed over me and gave me the strength and courage I needed to allow my body to be brought to its breaking point. I’ll never forget the closeness I felt to the Lord throughout this night.
If you’ve experienced a first trimester miscarriage, my heart and prayers go out to you. Miscarriage at anytime in a pregnancy is a heart-wrenching experience. I hope that my story helps whoever reads it to feel comforted knowing they are not alone.
