Fear of Praying Out Loud | How to Overcome a Fear of Praying in Front of Others
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First, let me start by saying, “You are not alone.” Let that sink in…you are NOT alone. The fear of praying out loud is more common than you might think. In fact, I would argue that there is probably a pretty close link to the fear of public speaking and the fear or praying in front of others. Glossophobia, the fear of public speaking, affects 25% of people. So no, you are definitely not alone…myself included.
Today’s tips on the fear of praying in front of others stems from my own fear. I’m sharing the exact steps I’ve taken to help overcome my fears of praying out loud, but it’s also important to note that I am still a work in progress. I still have moments when I freeze and just refuse to pray out loud when in a group setting. Slow but surely, though, the Holy Spirit continues to work on my heart, and my fears, to equip me with all I need to be a better prayer warrior.
If you have a fear of praying out loud, I hope this post will encourage you.
The fear of praying out loud can stem from a whole host of reasons. Maybe you didn’t have a good prayer role model growing up. Maybe you became a believer as an adult and this whole praying this is totally new to you. Perhaps it’s a fear of being embarrassed when you stumble on your words. Whatever the underlying reason may be, I hope the following tips will serve as an encouragement to you as you develop in the spiritual discipline of prayer.
1. What Does the Bible Say?
If you ever come across anything that you may be fearful of, the first place you should always start is with God’s Word. What does God say about [fill in the blank]? If you just don’t know where to start, Google will always be your best friend when you’re trying to search for verses that pertain to a certain subject.
So, let’s dive in and see what the Bible says about praying out loud in a group.
Matthew 18:20 NIV
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
James 5:16 NIV
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
2 Corinthians 1:10-11 NIV
10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Takeaway:
There are hundred of verses on prayer in the Bible, and many of them speak to the power that it has when done among others. Coming together with others in prayer is a beautiful privilege. Expressing ourselves through prayer is a gift that God has given us in order to commune with Him, encourage others, and even bring healing. When you begin to meditate on what God’s Word says about prayer, you will begin to feel a stirring in your own heart. And if you allow that stirring in your heart to move you, you’ll begin to notice that all the anxieties surrounding your fear of praying out loud begin to melt away, one by one.
2. Call on the Holy Spirit
God has given us this amazing gift of God himself living within us called the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is there for us to call on at any time for guidance, direction, discernment, healing, courage, strength, and so much more. So much of our prayer life is guided by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, knowing this, praying can become easier because we know that we are not relying on ourselves for the right words to say, but His words through us.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Romans 8:26 NIV
As we learn in Romans 8:26, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. The fear of praying in front of other people often stems from the idea that we have to think of the right things to say, but just the opposite is true. What a relief! Right? I don’t know about you, but just meditating on this single truth already begins to break down the barriers I’ve created out of my own fear of praying out loud.
3. Pray Out Loud When You’re Alone
It’s such a simple and practical concept, but breaking down the walls of the fear of praying in front of other people can actually start while you’re still alone. On my own journey to become better at praying in public, I first started by praying out lout while I was by myself. It may feel awkward at first, but trust me on this one.
Find a quiet space. Maybe that’s your home, your car, or when you’re on a walk. Just find somewhere you can just be alone with the Lord. Then just commit to using your voice to talk to God. Sometimes my prayers sound more like conversations, to be honest. I ask questions out loud. Sometimes I just unload everything I’m feeling. But most importantly, when it comes to the fear of praying out loud, you just have to start somewhere. What place is more comfortable to start praying aloud than in the comfort of your own solitude?
As you begin to practice praying aloud while you’re alone, I guarantee you’ll start to recognize that your words are flowing out of your mouth more effortlessly. It won’t seem as forced anymore. Long pauses because you’re overthinking what to say next will happen less and less. Embrace the journey that God has you on. Trust that He will give you the strength to face your fears.
4. Lower Your Expectations of Yourself
This is kind of a bonus tip that I thought of as I was writing the previous section. But instead of putting it at the end, I felt it would be a better fit here. When it comes to having a fear of praying in public, we have to let go of our expectations. As a perfectionist, I am the queen of setting high expectations of myself. Take this blog, for instance. I’m only five posts in to starting this blog, and I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve almost quit because I didn’t think I could do it perfectly. Nonsense! What the Lord has placed on your heart, He will equip you for.
We see this all throughout the Bible in stories like Moses. Moses also had trouble speaking in public. Yet God called and equipped him to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and to their Promised Land.
Exodus 4:10-11 NIV
10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute?Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
Along the same lines of lowering your expectations of yourself, I would also encourage you not to put yourself on a timeline. We are all on God’s timeline, not our own. There’s no need to worry about how quickly we can conquer our fear of praying out loud. God already knows that answer. You may start to notice opportunities to pray aloud presenting themselves more and more. Don’t ignore these, for they are little nudges from the Lord saying, “Show me that you trust me. Show me you’ll be faithful.”
And lastly, don’t let the way others pray intimidate you. I remember feeling so inferior when listening to some people pray. Their prayers would be so eloquent and flow so beautifully and effortlessly. You could literally feel the Holy Spirit surrounding us through their words. As we just learned from Moses’ story in Exodus 4, God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Prayer is between you and your Heavenly Father. Our prayers are not for impressing others. Don’t feel like you need to copy how someone else prays in order to sound a certain way. Prayer comes from the heart.
5. Confess Your Fear of Praying Out Loud
This is a biggie! In all honesty, it’s a very humbling experience. During my own journey of conquering my fear of praying out loud, I realized that I needed accountability. And the best way to keep accountable, is by confiding in others and asking them for help. Not only will this begin to build a community of people in your life who are praying very specifically for your fear of praying, but it’s also creating awareness. It’s through this awareness that others had of my fear that gave me the push I needed to just lean into my fear and trust that God would use me to speak the words He wants others to hear.
Confessing our sins in a powerful thing. I would argue that confessing our fears to other believers in our lives is equally powerful. I encourage you to choose a few trusted friends, who are also believers, to share your fear of praying with today. Ask them to pray for you and to help encourage you when opportunities to pray aloud arise. Ask them to be there to hold your hand in those moments. Maybe they can give your hand a squeeze as a silent sign of their encouragement to you so that you’re not embarrassed if your opportunity to pray comes and goes yet again. And if that happens, just be patient and don’t be too hard on yourself. This leads to the last piece of encouragement I have for you…
6. Just Start
This may seem like an obvious one. But after implementing all of the strategies above, it really comes down to the fact that you just need to step out in faith and pray out loud. If you’re like me, you might find that one day you’ll have the courage, and then the next opportunity you get to pray, the enemy gets the best of you. This still happens to me. And when it does, I use it as an opportunity to confess my faithlessness to the Lord and promise myself that I won’t miss the next opportunity to pray that the Lord lays before me.
Start small if you have to. For me, I started praying out loud with my husband far before I had enough courage to pray in public…and that was after an entire year of being married. Even now, I’m currently in a place where I’m only slightly more comfortable praying in small groups of my closest friends (ei…Life Group and Women’s Bible Study). I haven’t yet conquered the fear of praying in large, public settings. But I know that if the Lord is placing that desire on my heart, He will equip me for it.
If you’re still finding it difficult to start, maybe you just need to simply ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Maybe you do slip up on your words. I’m 100% certain you wouldn’t be the only one in the room who’s ever done that. “What if people judge me?” That’s their heart issue. Not your concern. Instead of worrying about who is judging you, be thankful that you even had the courage to speak up in the first place. I know this is all easier said than done. Trust me. Remember, I’m still struggling. But I promise you, it does get easier.
Q&A On The Fear of Praying
1. How long will it take to conquer my fear of praying in public?
Only the Lord has that answer. However, it’s safe to say that if we are desiring to develop that particular spiritual discipline in our life, that God is already preparing our hearts for it. When you do decide to step out and be faithful to His call to pray aloud with others, you will already have everything you need in Him.
2. Where does my fear of praying come from?
Ultimately, fear as whole comes from the enemy telling us that we’re not good enough. This may come in the form of a low self-esteem, being bullied when we were younger, being embarrassed or judged in the past, not having a good prayer warrior role model, or maybe having a speech impediment like Moses did. Whatever the reason, it’s important to identify it and then actively pray against it.
3. Why should I pray out loud?
In addition the reasons given in the example verses in section #1 above, prayer isn’t about you. Prayer is about desiring relationship with our Heavenly Father. Praying aloud in a public setting can also be used for the encouragement of others. You never know when the words the Holy Spirit lays on your heart to speak may be used to bring someone else to their knees. God is always working in ways we can’t even begin to fathom.
